IMMEDIATE REWARDS FOR APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR!

When young children receive immediate positive reinforcement for appropriate behavior, they are more likely to repeat that behavior. Positive reinforcement is "catching" a kid doing something you want them to do and rewarding it. This is an effective way to shape a child's conduct, communication skills, and attitude. Children naturally want to earn and keep your approval.

A recent study dramatically reinforced this teaching approach. A research group at the University of Rochester conducted a three-year study funded by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. They interviewed 278 mothers of 3-year-olds and observed mothers and children playing and working together. The women and children represented all socio-economic groups.

They found that the children of parents, who were negative and controlling, verbally and physically, were "situationally" compliant. This means as soon as the parent became distracted, the child reverted to inappropriate behavior because they had not learned the correct skills. By contrast, the children of parents who use gentle guidance or positive reinforcement showed "committed compliance," which means they understood and used the correct behavior, even when their parents were not monitoring them.

Positive Reinforcement works because it gives children positive goals to work towards instead of only focusing on negative consequences to avoid. Positive reinforcement fulfills strong basic psychological needs of every child as well as setting a more positive and healthy tone for the caregiver-child relationship. Some parents find it helpful to display a note where they can see it often, reminding them to look for appropriate behavior in their children. The note might read, "notice the positive" or "catch'em doing good."

Use Verbal Praise
Always praise the behavior, not the person. Praises like good girl or good boy risk misinterpretation. If a child exhibits inappropriate behavior, they may think that they are a bad person. It's better to praise the behavior by saying, "You did a great job cleaning your room, son."

Praise Genuinely
Complimenting a child's behavior can lose its punch if you praise usual, expected behavior or if you praise too much. Don't over do it. You may want to keep a mental note of the number of times you are using praise in a day. Use eye and body contact during your delivery to reinforce your sincerity. A child can tell when you're faking it.

Use a Variety of Ways to Praise
To keep a child's attention, change the delivery of your praise. A teacher may give a pat on the head or shoulder to show approval, while a parent may give a hug or a kiss. Body language like a thumbs-up, communicates approval in a cool way. You might want to write a note praising their clean room and leave it on their pillow.

Children love behavior charts with colorful stars or stickers, because they can show visitors their accomplishments by showing them the chart. Charts are interactive and fun. Let the child help you make the chart and make daily entries.

Help your child draw a picture of his reward. Put dots around the prize about an inch apart. With each day of successful behavior, allow the child to connect a dot. When the circle is complete, the child gets his reward. They enjoy watching their own progress as they get closer and closer to finishing the circle.

Keep the time until the prize is collected short. For a toddler, use end of the hour rewards; for a preschooler use end of the day rewards; and for the school age child use end of the week rewards. In fact, for a preschool child it's best to refer to an event as the ending time such as, after dinner" or" at bedtime."

To work, a reward must be something the child likes. You can become a detective and ask some leading questions to find out what rewards a child wants. The following are examples of leading questions.

"If you could do some special things, what would they be?"
"If you could go somewhere with a friend, where would you go?'
"If you had a dollar, what would you buy?'

Make reward coupons to be redeemed when they earn a certain number of points. But remember that children need reminders. Reminders are less likely to provoke a refusal or power struggle. You might give a clue like, "Where does your plate belong?" You might want to write a list of positive behaviors or responsibilities on a poster board. You can review these lists with the child as needed.

A child who receives positive reinforcement develops high self-esteem; and a child with a high self-esteem usually exhibits self-motivation. A child who exhibits self-motivation generally becomes a successful achiever at home and at school.

There are some who say rewards can stunt creativity in children, and children should perform for the joy of the activity. But, life is full of rewards. If a person follows the rules, and works hard, they are rewarded.


Kathy Stemke's websites:
Moving Through all Seven Days link:http://www.lulu.com/content/e-book/moving-through-all-seven-days/7386965#http://www.helium.com/users/406242.html
http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/237923/Kathy_stemke_dancekam.html
http://kathystemke.weebly.com

Activities for Read Alouds

Children enjoy read-alouds. I suggest you read to them as early and as often as possible. But don't forget that older children get a lot out of read-alouds as well so don't stop just because they can read for themselves. Here are some ideas you can use to making reading aloud fun:

1. Use musical instruments to create suspense, silliness, happy and sad sounds. This can bring your story to life as well as keep each child engaged. You can even have them make simple shakers with beans or rice inside a can of pringles and decorate. They can use it at different times. For example: shake the shaker when you hear the word ______. Or, shake the shaker when you hear a verb (noun, a word that starts with B, etc.). The possibilities are endless.

2. Teach part of speech or grammar with signs as you read. Discuss verbs or exclamation marks, etc.. Give out index cards so that each child can write either the word VERB (pronoun, nouns, etc.) or any grammatical mark. Each time you read a sentence with a verb (or other) or a grammatical mark, the child should raise the index card.

3. Create the atmosphere created in the book. For example, use cardboard to build a rocket if the book is about outer space. Tons of possibilities here with this one.

4. Have the children act out what you read. If the character walks to the store, they should be able to walk in place as they reach a door and open it and grab some groceries. This should be fun and can help on those days it's raining out and their energy levels are high. It's a good idea to give them boundaries for control. You could have them stay inside a hoop on the floor.

5. Use a prop bag to illustrate parts of the story. Collect items that pertain to the story, and display them when they are mentioned in the story. Let's say your reading, "MIss Spider's Tes Party." You could take out rubber bugs, a tea cup, silk flowers, or a hankerchief to dry Miss Spider's eyes. If your story is about bananas, pull some bananas out of the prop bag. It would be fun to eat them while they listen to the rest of the story.

6. Ask your child questions about the story. Reading comprehension is one of the hardest things to teach a child if it doesn't come naturally to him. In order to comprehend something, you must be paying attention to it. Help your child to develop his ability to comprehend stories by asking him questions either about what he thinks is about to happen or what has already happened. This develops critical thinking, which helps later in life in making major decisions. It teaches him how to survive in the world, once he is put out in it.

7. Do a fun activity after you finish the book that relalates to the book in some way.
For instance, if the book is about a tall person, make your own stilts using metal cans. Punch two holes on either side of each can, near the bottom. Measure a piece of rope so it is the appropriate length for children. Thread one end of the rope into each hole and secure with a knot. To walk on stilts, children stand on the cans, holding the rope in their hands. It's not easy, children will need practice! (Verify that the edge of the can is not sharp, add masking tape for extra protection.) If you read a book about lions or the circus, you can have your child jump through a hoop like a lion at the circus. This activity may be done indoors or outdoors. Add words of encouragement such as, "Come my beautiful lions!" Continue raising the hoop, then alternate between high and low.

Reading aloud to your child helps them to learn the correct way to read. By hearing you read the words on the page and sound them out, he learns that letters make words, and words make sentences, and sentences are how we communicate with each other. Communication is very important in how a person relates to the rest of the world. Reading aloud to your child encourages interpersonal communication, which is vital to a child's development.

Reading to your child on a regular basis will give them an appreciation and respect for reading. If reading is important to you, it will become important to your child. A bookcase full of a variety of great books should be available. The "Dr. Seuss" and "Dick and Jane" books are wonderful, because they are full of repetition. This will enable your child to learn sight words such as: it, at, on, in, the, etc. Learning sight words will help keep the frustration level down when they start to read books.

So, read aloud to your child, and I guarantee that not only will he benefit in phenomenal ways, but you will bond with your child in the process! Reading aloud calls for a lot more than just listening when you have just a little imagination. Have fun reading!