Showing posts with label back to school jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label back to school jokes. Show all posts

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Education Jokes and Quotes...What Fun!

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx

"What happens when vowels and consonants gamble?" Answer: "They make an alphabet." --Tony Stemke


Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with i.

Millie: I is…

Teacher: No Millie, always say, “I am.”

Millie: Okay, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

 
I saw a substitute teacher with his head against a locker. I heard him mutter, “How did you get yourself into this?”
Knowing he was assigned a difficult class, I offered some moral support. “Are you okay?” I asked. “Can I help you?”
He lifted his head and replied, “I’ll be fine as soon as I get this kid out of his locker.”

A friend of mine was assigned a new position teaching English in a prison. Feeling a little nervous on his first day, he began by asking a very basic question.
“Now, who can tell me what a sentence is?”

Driving one afternoon, I rolled through a stop sign. I was pulled over by a police officer, who recognized me as his former English teacher.
He said, “Mrs. Brown, those stop signs are periods, not commas.”

Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?”
Vincent: “One dollar.”
Teacher: “You don’t know your arithmetic.”


Vincent: “You don’ t know my father.”

Sylvia: “Dad, can you write in the dark?”
Dad: “I think so. What do you want me to write?”
Sylvia: “Your name on this report card.”

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
-Unknown

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