Sunday, August 18, 2013

Education Jokes and Quotes...What Fun!

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx

"What happens when vowels and consonants gamble?" Answer: "They make an alphabet." --Tony Stemke

Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with i.

Millie: I is…

Teacher: No Millie, always say, “I am.”

Millie: Okay, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

I saw a substitute teacher with his head against a locker. I heard him mutter, “How did you get yourself into this?”
Knowing he was assigned a difficult class, I offered some moral support. “Are you okay?” I asked. “Can I help you?”
He lifted his head and replied, “I’ll be fine as soon as I get this kid out of his locker.”

A friend of mine was assigned a new position teaching English in a prison. Feeling a little nervous on his first day, he began by asking a very basic question.
“Now, who can tell me what a sentence is?”

Driving one afternoon, I rolled through a stop sign. I was pulled over by a police officer, who recognized me as his former English teacher.
He said, “Mrs. Brown, those stop signs are periods, not commas.”

Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?”
Vincent: “One dollar.”
Teacher: “You don’t know your arithmetic.”

Vincent: “You don’ t know my father.”

Sylvia: “Dad, can you write in the dark?”
Dad: “I think so. What do you want me to write?”
Sylvia: “Your name on this report card.”

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Moving Through all Seven Days link: Follow me on twitter: Follow me on Facebook:!/kathymarescomatthews.stemke?ref=profile Follow me on LinkedIn: Add to Technorati Favorites